I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize