his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
