I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
