The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
