At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
