I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
