did you get engaged???
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
