Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
me + whiskey = a bad person
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
