last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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