I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
