i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
