Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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