i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
