Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
