We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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