I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
