I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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