is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
