he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
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