He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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