yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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