Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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