Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
