The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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