tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
