yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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