Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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