My first STD was from a foam party
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
