so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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