You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
