My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
