Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
