Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
