47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
