Redeem this text for a blowjob
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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