just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
