and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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