I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
