Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
