I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
