Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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