if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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