We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
