hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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