So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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