If that was your dad, he is hot
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I believe in your delicious
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
