My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
