you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize