Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
