This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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