Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
