i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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