I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
