I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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