she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You are the jesus of drinking
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
