Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
