you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Bring me that man meat
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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