vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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