if only i could text you this smell
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You dont lie about slip and slides
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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