I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
