This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
