He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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