The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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