Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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