when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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