the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Panties = found
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