that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
