I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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