I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just google imaged poop.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
