Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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