thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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